Fran Lebowitz hates tourists in New York. A lot of people love how much Fran Lebowitz hates tourists. To me, this feels like a gripe from one hundred years ago. I couldn’t imagine hating on tourists that hard. There are so many things I hate more. I hate people who think they’re special. New York is the greatest city on earth because here, no one thinks you’re shit, whoever you are. And they’ll tell you. Because people here talk to each other. I hate drunks. They’re so sloppy, always swaying like they’re on a boat and banging into shin-height tables, knocking glasses over and ruining everything. Leaving their coats and credit cards behind, they are literal losers. I hate people who can’t get with the program. They want to die on the weirdest hills – get over yourself. That’s just a start!

There are so many things more annoying to me than an entire family speaking French in matching Minions t-shirts taking a tour of the seediest blocks around Madison Square Garden and Times Square in the blazing summer heat ...


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